My Upcoming Flight and Why I Think TSA Scanners Suck (In a Bad Way)

Growing up in a family full of health professionals has done more than arm me with an understanding of medical jargon.  Not only has my upbringing imbued me with a sense of what is medically sound in a clinical setting (a skill that is highly useful as a newly medically autonomous adult), but it has also taught me to question everything that poses a potential threat to my health.  

On February 1st, I have to fly on a plane to Minneapolis for a special leadership conference, the details of which I shall discuss in a later post.  Strangely enough, it is not the invasiveness of the procedures implemented by security personnel that I object to.  Rather, my first and foremost concern is the danger posed by the TSA full body scanners.  

Countless doctors and scientists are issuing public warnings about the dangers of exposure to this specific variety of radiation.  Dr. Michael Love from John Hopkins University school of medicine notes that the scanners will be a source of skin cancer for some.  John Sedat, a University of California at San Francisco professor of biochemistry and biophysics, is convinced that "vulnerable populations" such as pregnant women, children, and the elderly increase their cancer risk by being subjected to these machines.  Other experts in X-ray imaging warn that the scanners can cause breast cancer.

And while it is true, as the TSA, and many more Laid Back (and notably less informed) Larry's are quick to point out, that during high-altitude flights, the thinner atmosphere offers less protection from cosmic radiation anyway, they are missing something that is huge.  TSA body scanners focus ionization radiation directly into the flesh, muscles, and organic tissues, while cosmic radiation is distributed, as cited in an article by NaturalNews, across the entire mass of the body.  And for all of those Unflappable Uncles (like mine) who think that these scientific opinions are an overreaction (after all, internet WiFi waves are everywhere, all of the time), I would like to make a point of clarification.  

Well first of all, I will point out that God too is apparently omnipresent, as He is everywhere all of the time, and God is the leading cause of death (according to George Carlin).  So by that thread of logic, there actually is a cause for alarm.

Secondly, I will ask the Unflappable Uncles to consider that these WiFi waves are similarly distributed across the entire mass of the body.  Furthermore, WiFi electromagnetic radiation is equivocal to low frequency radio transmissions.  And yes, it is true that terahertz waves (the waves being utilized by the TSA scanners) emit lower energy photons than, say, ultraviolet waves.  So yeah, they are a bit more friendly.

....They just tear apart your DNA.  

That's right.  I was going to bestow the sequel to the movie "Teeth," which features a girl with a vagina that eats people, with the title "Thunder Lips." Instead, I think that it should be called "Terahertz." It even sounds like an STD, or a dinosaur! 

On that same note, studies conducted by biophysicists have shown terahertz radiation to be damaging and preventing cellular repair of DNA.

Oh man...once, when I was high, I thought that my friend's jeans made her look like an asparagus mermaid.  Do not proceed to ask me what that means, because I have no freakin' clue.  What I can say is that I have seen firsthand the deleterious effects of jeans that go bad.  It is even worse when they are spelled with a "g." 

I'm honestly not sure of my stance on the "right to privacy vs. safety first" issue when it is a matter of airport security.  On the one hand, the Israeli airline El Al employs security tactics such as racial profiling, but has not had a terrorist incident in 30 years.  On the other hand, TSA workers are not properly trained in areas such as psychological profiling, and with these security protocols still in their stage of infancy, I am sure that there is a potential for abuse and exploitation of innocent people, especially during the new and improved body searches.  I am also sure that I will feel differently about the notoriously sexual pat downs administered by TSA workers once I experience it myself, especially because this particular procedure is more intrusive than effective.  

However, of this I am certain: I would rather unzip my clothes than my DNA,  any day.

I cannot in good conscious step through these TSA scanners armed with the knowledge of a 2008 CDC report that makes note of X-ray machines missing protective lead curtains and other safety features, which were dismantled by TSA employees themselves! Because I really do want to protect my stupid ovaries that I won't even use.  

Skin cancer runs in my family; my cousin needed to have cancerous cells removed when she was as young as twenty-four.  My aunt also had breast cancer, which makes me more statistically vulnerable to developing it myself.  Additionally, as someone who has needed an abnormally high amount of X-rays due to dental problems, oral surgeries, and a staph infection, I have already accumulated unhealthy doses of radiation.  It is absolutely reasonable that I would want to limit my exposure to non-diagnostic X-rays, especially when the long-term results of exposure to terahertz radiation have not yet been reviewed.  

I'm not going anywhere near those scanners on February 1st.

Fuck you, TSA.  Oh wait...I actually might.